7 Ways To Help A Farmer Who Lives With Anxiety
By Lesley Kelly, Farmer and Co-Founder of the Do More Agriculture Foundation
All of us worry and get scared from time to time. Farming can be a very rewarding yet worrisome occupation because of its intense busy seasons and many stressors outside of our control, like the weather and markets. But for those living with anxiety or diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, farming can be especially challenging due to having intense, frequent, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Often, anxiety disorders involve repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks).
These feelings of anxiety and panic interfere with daily activities, are difficult to control, are out of proportion to the actual danger and can last a long time. Research from the University of Guelph, undertaken by Dr. Andrea Jones-Bitton, found that almost 60% of the 1100 farmers were classified with varying levels of anxiety.
It’s not always easy to know how to support a friend or family member who has an anxiety disorder, especially if you're worried that what you say or do might inadvertently make their anxiety worse.
Fear not: If someone has shared their struggles with you, it’s likely because they trust you. And that means that just offering to sit with them and listen can be healing for your friend and loved one. The support of family and friends is especially meaningful given that, due to the stigma, many anxiety-prone people may not talk about their condition, which can make them feel isolated and increase their anxiety over the long term. Anxiety is a real illness, and like many illnesses, it can be treated. If we send signals that anxiety isn’t real or what they are feeling shouldn’t be taken seriously, we run the risk of further stigmatizing the person and that can lead to avoiding seeking care.
If a farmer or someone you care about has an anxiety disorder, here are some of the best ways you can support them:
Learn more about anxiety: Education is key if we want to support our family, friends, neighbours and reduce the stigma about mental health. It can be extremely helpful to learn as much as possible about how to help someone with anxiety disorder. You can start by teaching yourself about what causes anxiety, common signs and symptoms of anxiety, and effective management techniques.
Listen to and validate their feelings: You can do this by letting them know it’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to feel however they feel. It’s important to make sure you’re able to listen and validate them and their feelings if someone with anxiety is seeking reassurance from you.
Let them know you are there for them: When learning how to help someone with anxiety, you may want to explain to them that you’ve noticed that they seem more anxious lately and that you want to help. This will typically come as a welcome relief to the person, as they realize that they don’t have to carry the burden of their anxiety alone. Having this conversation gives the person a chance to see that they have people who care about them, who want to listen and who want them to feel better.
Ask and listen to how they want to be supported: When you ask the person how you can support them, listen carefully to their preferences. After all, you want to know how to help people with anxiety and support them. They may want help breaking down a task they are anxious about, they may want you to distract them from their anxious thoughts or they may just want someone to talk to. By taking the time to listen and understand their needs, you can give them emotional support that will really make a difference. Here are some statements you can share that shows support:
How can I help support you?
I've noticed you've been anxious recently, and I'm worried about you.
Do you want to go for a walk or drive and talk about it?
Learn about effective and healthy coping tools and strategies: Another way to support is to learn about effective coping tools so that you can encourage them to use the tools when they are anxious. For instance, you can learn how to support a friend or loved one when they are having a panic attack or teach them “grounding” exercises that help redirect their focus away from what is making them anxious. One grounding exercise it to focus on their immediate physical environment and then name:
Five things they see
Four things they can feel (like “feet on the floor,” “chair on my back,” “wind in my face)
Three things they can hear
Two things they can smell
One good thing they can say about themself
Keep lines of communication open: When it comes to helping someone with anxiety, it is important to keep an open line of communication with them. If you are able to, see the person regularly as this will help with managing anxiety. Spend one-on-one time with them so that they have opportunities to talk about anything they feel anxious about. You can also keep in touch over the phone, video or calling them regularly or sending a text every few days just to see how their week is going.
Look after yourself: When you offer to help with anxiety, it is understandable for you to feel frustrated, scared or tired from time to time. It is likely that their anxieties are having an effect on you too. Make sure that you’re dealing with these emotions and maintaining your wellbeing. Talk to other friends or family members about how you are feeling, think about accessing therapeutic support, take really good care of your physical and mental health, and book in time every week to do activities that you enjoy. By keeping yourself well, you will be in a much better position to help the person with anxiety.
And always remember, you’re doing your best and so is the person living with anxiety.
If you or someone in your family or farm team are going through a hard and stressful time, reach out to a professional. For local crisis contacts and resources visit https://www.domore.ag/crisis-contacts.