Reflecting From The Diversity Imperative Podcast Takeover
Earlier this week, we took over The Diversity Imperative podcast hosted by Erin Gowriluk & Hannah Konschuh to discuss mental health in agriculture. Megz Reynolds, The Do More Agriculture Executive Director, opens the floor to Amy VanderHeide, Stuart Chutter, and Himadry Singh to discuss the unique challenges they each face.
To listen to the episode, click here.
After a great conversation, the team took the time to reflect on what tools they use in their day-to-day life when they feel overwhelmed or are looking for support.
1. When feeling overwhelmed, what are coping mechanisms you use?
Amy: I turn everything off, computer, phone, television. As someone who suffers from insomnia, those things overwhelm me the most because what do you do when you can't sleep in the middle of the night? Scroll, watch tv or catch up on work. It can be a cycle that completely takes over. Shutting them down and picking up a book or going for a walk in the woods can turn my day entirely around or help me get at least another hour of sleep.
Megz: When I am feeling overwhelmed, I try to find time to do some sort of exercise or even go for a walk if I can't fit in a run or workout. Not only does working out help me process what is going on, but it also releases endorphins which help me feel better about everything. I also break things down into whatever size piece feels manageable at that moment. Sometimes that means I am just focusing on the next hour or only one item on my 'to-do' list at a time.
Stuart: Escaping the farm through fitness and urban adventures has been so important when it overwhelms me. For so long, the farm consumed all of me. Now I can “escape” the farm as needed without even leaving the farm with running and fitness. A long run down rural roads gets me back in line. I’ve also made a point of travelling and spending a lot of free time in Calgary. By escaping and leaving the farm more often, I’ve learned to love and appreciate it even more.
Himadry: This one is hard for me. I usually shut down when I am overwhelmed, but I know that is exactly when I need to reach out. I usually end up calling a friend to talk it through, or I create lists that allow me to break down what I am dealing with into manageable pieces.
2. How do you build your own community and support system?
Amy: Building your own community and support system can be tough. It's often hard for us to dump our feelings on other people, but it's also important to have those people in your life who are willing to listen no matter what. This can be family and friends, or it can be networking on social media and creating a group of friends who you can shoot a message too, knowing that they'll get back to you. In agriculture, it can be hard to find someone close to you who understands the uniqueness of our stresses and our language. So don't be afraid to reach beyond the county lines.
Megz: I view community as a garden that I inherited; there are plants in it that someone else may have chosen to put there and I get to choose whether they stay (what is healthiest for my garden) and plants that are not yet in the garden which I choose to plant. Online for me has been an incredible way to build community with people all over the world.
Stuart: My closest neighbour is a mile away and I live three provinces away from my family and where I grew up. Physical community around my farm is hard. Social media and distant relationships get a lot of effort and provide so much value. Driving hours for supper with a meaningful friendship is something I’m totally willing to do. For me, community is not always the people physically around me but rather the people I want in my life regardless of where they are.
Himadry: Communicating. When I started to open up to friends and family about what I was struggling with, it allowed them to understand me more and provide the support I needed. It also allowed space to share their feeling, and as a result, we were able to build a stronger bond and, most importantly, a support system that worked for both of us.
3. When having a difficult conversation, what are your tactics?
Amy: Stay calm. Take deep breaths. Be open and honest.
Megz: Before having a difficult conversation, I like to take a moment with myself to remind myself that this isn't about my emotions at the moment and that I need to create a safe space to have the conversation. During the conversation, I make sure I am actively listening; I do not jump in with a response. Instead, I leave a long pause for the other person to continue sharing, only moving forward with a response when I know they are finished with that thought process. I also give myself time to process what the other person has just said, to formulate my thoughts before responding; I want to try my best not to be responding out of emotion.
Stuart: Don’t ask me… I suck at difficult conversations. For me, I probably seek out people who are good at hard conversations that I can rely on to help and carry the conversation when I need to talk glint and am struggling to get there. If you find someone good and supportive at hard conversations, they are so valuable to have in your corner.
Himadry: I am always learning how to have conversations with others, as we all process things differently. A few things I do or remind myself before a conversation are:
I remind myself that the other person isn’t against me. We’re on the same team, trying to find a solution or understanding that works for both of us.
If I am feeling my emotions or theirs take over, I ask to take a break, so both of us have an opportunity to collect ourselves and focus on what we are trying to accomplish.
I write my thoughts down ahead of time. So I can read them over and try to understand how others may perceive what I am trying to say.
4. We talk about imposter syndrome; when these feelings arise, how do you cope with them?
Amy: I try to remind myself that I have every right to be where I am. I've worked really hard to be in some of the roles I am in, and yet sometimes, when I look around the room, I still wonder if people take me seriously or feel like I have something to offer them. It's one of the things I struggle with the most internally and that I try not to show people. Usually, I get over it quickly, but when I am uncomfortable, or in a new situation, I really have to give myself a pep talk to remind myself of my own value.
Megz: When I start to question my ability to do something, I remind myself of what I have done. I find this always helps. We can get caught up in where we are at and forget about where we have been and all we have learned, achieved and excelled at along our path.
Stuart: I’m so often shocked at how so many of us feel like we’re not enough or know enough or contributing enough in all areas of life. In ag where generational knowledge is so valuable and results are so tangible and margins are so tight, it’s easy to feel like an underachiever or “I should have planned for that” when Mother Nature or other risks knock you down. I think we all seek some validation from someone, and with our physical communities so distant and face to face validation from peers so rare, it’s easy to dwell on failures and be the imposter. Eliminating external validation needs and knowing your own worthiness must be the solution, but that’s hard to do and I’m not there yet.
Himadry: I struggled with these thoughts for many years. It took going to therapy to understand the root of these feelings and develop strategies. Through therapy, I started to keep a journal of moments when I was proud of my work. It felt silly at the start but eventually, I had this notebook that I could refer to when I felt like I needed a reminder that I was enough. This notebook provided data that I was enough vs just relying on my emotions.
I also try to remind myself that it is human to have self-doubts. We all have it at some point, and a moment of self doubt doesn’t take away my year’s experience.
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About Diversity Imperative
The Diversity Imperative is a podcast about unearthing the agriculture sector’s diversity potential. Through rich and candid conversations which consider a variety of perspectives, Hannah Konschuh and Erin Gowriluk explore ways to overcome barriers and make diversity and inclusion a topic that everyone is comfortable talking about.